Former President Donald Trump says he’ll be happy to step in and negotiate peace with Vladimir Putin. “He’s in my contacts,” Trump told reporters, “I’ll call him right now.”

The reason he hasn’t is the Spencer Davis Act, which prohibits former heads of state from conducting foreign policy. “If Sleepy Joe suspends SD and installs me as the Winwood Ambassador under subsection 34 of the Charter, we’re all good to go.”

Biden hasn’t responded. Pundits on the left believe Biden would watch the world burn before he’d allow Trump to speak to Putin on America’s behalf. “He’s Putin’s stooge,” Biden said, “Hand a stooge the keys and the stooge will wreck your car. Not on your life.”

There you have it, Patriots. Joe Biden would rather get in a car wreck than let Trump help him get out of this mess he and he alone created since taking office. Before that, Russia was handled.


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