Chief Justice Jon Roberts was brought into the court by the 43rd President of the United States George W. Bush as a staunch Conservative who would uphold all of our Conservative ideals such as keeping poor people, immigrants, LGBT people, and minorities down and treating women like property.

Recently the Chief Justice has gone fully liberal and has turned his back to the common thinking that white male Americans are the only people who matter in the world. Fortunately, out Dear Leader has taken notice of this and intends to initiate impeachment proceedings against the Chief Justice.

The Senate is expected to quickly dispatch of Chief Justice John Roberts.

As the most loyal and dutiful Justice on the High Court, Brett Kavanaugh will replace him. Kavanaugh’s spokesperson Art Tubolls met with the press today:

“Justice Kavanaugh is the perfect choice to be the new Chief Justice. He knows that his place is to do whatever the President tells him to do.

So far, Justice Kavanaugh has a perfect record of doing what he’s told to do. He also understands that the Judicial Branch of the government serves at the pleasure of the President.

Justice Kavanaugh is dismayed by the turn toward radical leftism in the Courts and will put an immediate end to it once he becomes Chief Justice.”

Justices Ginsburg, Sotomayor, and Kagan will remain on the court as powerless figureheads to appease the liberals. If they plan on keeping their lifetime appointments, they should fall in line before our wise and benevolent President decides that they need to go too.


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