Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar are not going to be very happy about this. According to sources close to ABC, Roseanne Barr received the go-ahead to start production on a new morning show opposite the network’s hit “The View.”

“We’re a little concerned,” said network spokesman Joe Barron, “we’re on shaky ground with the public as it is because of Whoopi’s antics and Joy’s crush on Liam Neeson.”

Roseanne’s show will differ from The View in one major way: she’ll have men on her panel. “I’m not a sexist like Whoopi is,” Roseanne told Fred from catering, “that woman hates everything that isn’t black or female.” Fred said that while the conversation made him a little uncomfortable, he agrees with her on general principal.

Whoopi denies she’s a sexist and says she’d definitely have men on her panel had the show not been designed by Barbara Walters a hundred years ago to be a panel of women and their “view” of the world.

“I don’t know why the right feels the need to even have these conversations,” said Whoopi, “you go your way and I’ll go mine. You’re more than welcome to the fans who think Roseanne is a good person, funny, or talented. She’s none of those things.”

Roseanne said she’s probably going to sue her for defamation. Because the mortgage is due. God Bless America.


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