Whoopi Goldberg is a number of things.  Award winning actress, activist, macrame goods specialist.  She’s also the lead host of daytime talk show The View, a popular ABC morning program.

What she isn’t, apparently, is an open-minded thinker.  Just this Monday on the aforementioned show, the Star Trek actress launched into a bizarre tirade that had producers stumped enough during a commercial break to have her removed from the program.

The segment began innocently enough, with guest star Bruce Springsteen discussing his recent foray into cross-dressing during a performance in Queefsburgh, Tennessee.  Then he complained about his outfit’s fitting across the chest.

“Well, you don’t have boobs, Bruce,” Whoopi offered.  “If you had boobs, you’d understand a women’s perspective.”

Springsteen took mock offense at the comment and replied.

“Well, you don’t have boobs either.  Maybe you’re a man too.”

That’s when Whoopi lost it.  She launched into a tirade about women’s rights and health and, for some reason, the chocolate cookies at Walmart that are there one week, and unavailable the next.

“The cookies, THE COOKIES THAT THEY PROBABLY TAKE AWAY WHEN THEY SEE ME COMING!  I WILL SMASH ANY BLUE SHIRTED DICKBALL WHO HIDES THOSE TREASURES FROM ME!  OPEN YOUR EYES, SHEEPLE!  THE REVOLUTION IS BEGINNING!”

Line producer Joe Barron cut away to commercial as the stunned audience calmed down and whisked Goldberg away to a nearby mental hospital.

The episode continued without incident and Goldberg is reportedly doing better.  Remember.  Nothing on this page is true, you gullible potatoes you.

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