Walt Disney Enterprises Incoprorated LLC has a wo0keness problem, and its CEO finally figured it out. After record losses, millions of subscribers abandoning its services, and stores like Walmart boycotting carrying anything “woke,” Chairman Joe Barron crumbled. A source inside Disney’s corporate headquarters confirmed to our sources just outside that Barron first begged for a meeting by email, then showed up at the Governor’s Mansion with his tail between his legs.

Servers at the luncheon Barron attended said he was seen at the head table with DeSantis, nearly in tears, as the Governor laid into him verbally in front of a crowd of dignitaries. In terms of punishment, it was the equivalent of a solid lashing for crimes against the public. DeSantis was clear that he wanted Barron to pass the punishment on to the board that allowed this, to remove the wokeness from all Disney products, and to reverse his decision not to back a bill to protect children from made-up things.

Barron recognized the need to allow bumpkins to have their issues, noting that none of the stories about staggering losses were actually true. When asked why he would ask for forgiveness, he said, “I’m doing it for the people. They need someone to be angry at, and I’m their guy. These people don’t do Disney anyway. They do Walmart clones of princess stuff. So whatever. It’s satire. The real CEO doesn’t actually care.”

We stopped covering his nonsense after that, patriots, as he clearly had a mission to expose our reporting and squash the truth. Hang in there, America. We’re here for you.



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