President Joe Biden is on his way to an experience that his predecessor sat through twice. Impeachment.
The process of holding an American President accountable for his various criminal deeds is as old as the constitution, but has only actually been used four times; once for Andrew Johnson who was a real piece of work, once as a political witch hunt for Bill Clinton, and twice for Donald Trump, who was some kind of enormous dipshit.
Now chickens have come home to roost for Biden as his accusers, Senator Sandra Batt of North Virginia and Representitive Lauren Bobert of Colorado have paired up and gotten the votes necessary to begin impeachment hearings.
“Um, Biden is a cwiminal, and we are gonna make his wife miserwable,” says Bobert. “We’re bwinging up his cwackhead son, and his pay for pway deal and everything. It’s his wast stand.”
None of the charges that Bobert and Batt are levelling actually have any weight whatsoever for the process, but that hasn’t stopped the GOP before. Senator Lindsey Graham piped up about the coming soon hearings.
“Y’all aint gonna wanna miss a minute of this, that’s fer darn tootin. We’re gonna boil that old fella like an egg in a roastin’ chicken. Yee-haw, fellas! Wear your best assless chaps!”
The hearings are, as of now, scheduled to have preliminary beginnings on November 31st, with hearings slated to begin in February of 2026.
