The tragic accident in Baltimore yesterday causing the collapse of the Francis Scott Key bridge and the deaths of a shocking 46 people was entirely caused by Republicans, say members of the Biden Government.

“This is exactly the kind of horrible happenstance that ‘Build Back Better’ was made to avoid,” said Senator J. Barron of Idaho.  “And the Republicans just couldn’t bring themselves to pass it in it’s entirety.”

Build Back Better was one of President Biden’s signature pieces of legislation.  However, Republicans, as always, cited shitty ass Internet conspiracy theories and pure hatred to deny him any win at the expense of the United States.  Republican congresswoman Sandy Batt agreed.

“What happened is that Donald Trump owned the new race, yet again, prompted by even more internet conspiracy crap and nonsense.  What could we do but follow his lead?

Is he a rapist and an insurrectionist?  Obviously.  Are his fans morons?  Goes without saying.  We’re screwed.”

“It’s really our own fault,” Batt went on.  “We encourage the fat bastard and we ended up a party full of Nazis, crazies, and stubborn idiots.  What can we do now except apologize and send out the usual useless thoughts and prayers to the families.”

While the collapse was a terrible thing, it did take the 24-hour news cycle away from the Senate’s usual claptrap and Trump’s trials away for at least 5 days.


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