4 Major Retailers Now Require 2 Masks To Shop

As you may have heard in the news lately, Dr. Fauci, the most visible viral expert to be seen advising professionals on how to get America through the Trump Plague pandemic crisis, was quoted as saying that two masks worn together would provide better protection against spreading the virus.  Now, four major retailers in the United States have taken that safety tip to heart and made it a requirement in order to shop.

If one had watched or listened to the right wing cartoon media like Newsmax or OAN, one would have heard arguments like : “Well why not three or four masks?  Or six or TWELVE?”  While such idiotspeak may convince the average Trump-supporting chimp tit that science has gone crazy, most normal people can smell dumb talk when it gurgles out of Candace Owens’s facehole.

“Six masks WOULD be safer,” noted CDC Trumptard expert Joe Barron. “So would wearing a suit of armor when you drive your car.  At some point we just have to hope people aren’t as stupid as these conservative dickhead networks think they are.  For God’s sake, some of this is just common sense any fruit bat could figure out.  I fully applaud these retailers for at least trying to help trumptards help themselves.”

The four safety-conscious retailers are : Woolworths, Montgomery Ward, Sears, and Clyde’s Pig Palace and Beaver Steamer off the I-65 in Queefysneeze, Alabama.  So don’t forget to pack your masks of you’re out for a day at any of these destinations.

Is the new status quo a reality that Americans are going to need to get accostumed to for the near future until vaccines tamp down Trump’s incompetent mistake?  It’s entirely possible.  It’s going to take awhile for our country to mop up after four years of a worthless failure in chief. Stay safe, shoppers.