In Missouri, this week, police arrested 51-year old Al Franken on a felony charge of kidnapping a young girl of fourteen. Franken appeared disheveled in courtroom photos, unshaven and beady eyed.
According to arrest reports, Franken, who was a financial backer of the film The Sound of Freedom, the summer blockbuster surprise hit that actually deals with child abduction and abuse, was taken in peacefully. He was set free on his own recognisense after appearing for arraignment.
Wait wait wait. Hold on a second. This whole thing smells a little funny. Let me check journalist Joe Barron’s notes, who filed the story.
Ohhhh, I see what happened. Joe was working on a completely different story on Al Franken and his recent charitable works, and accidentally had the system do a “search and replace” option. Let me see here…
…yeah, the guy’s name who is actually responsible for this behavior is named Fabian Marta. Not Al Franken. To no one’s surprise, he’s a Republican and a nutty ass who groomed his young wife for years in order to marry her.
Marta is a big backer of the movie, although, he did not appear in it as one of the villains. Goddamn, that would have been Meta.
Perhaps you’ve heard this story. Perhaps not. Either way, I guaran-effing-TEE that if it was Al Franken that it was about, or Adam Schiff, or anyone with a “D” next to their name, it would be on Fox News every five minutes, and in the mouth of Judge Jeanine just as much, right next to Hitler’s penis.
