The Hunter Biden laptop tale has been one full of mystery, intrigue,, and cover-ups. At first, it was dismissed by the left as a fanciful story, dreamt up by Rudy Guliani, the architect of the scheme.
The former Mayor is currently being sought for randomly humping manholes in New York city.
Now, however, thanks to hard work by FBI agents Joe Barron and Fox Mulder, it’s back with a vengeance as investigators begin to reveal damning evidence contained on it’s hard drive that can adversely affect President Joe Biden.
While those files, videos, and statistics solidify, the younger Biden has filed a “Cease and Desist” injunction intended to pave the way for legal proceedings intended to force the return of the machine to his custody.
“The laptop in question was unceremoniously nabbed from Southard Computer Repair and Pretty Dresses in Huge Queef Valley, California,” says Biden’s legal representative Chelsea Clinton.
“No notice was given, no warrant issued, and Mr. Guliani is neither an agent of the court, nor a deputized police official. The laptop is to be returned immediately to Mr. Biden. There is a very important game of ‘Wordscapes’ running on it that he has to finish before month’s end.”
If you’ve seen this obviously doctored photo with the “Brandon” moniker that came AFTER the laptop story, you’re probably just as bored as we are.
Biden is also seeking compensation for pain and suffering that he experienced in the conservative media to the tune of 75 million dollars, or a sawbuck each for every dimwitted dumbass shiteagle who fell for the coverage.
“All I want is justice,” Biden opined on his other laptop’s vlog. “These moronic psychopaths deserve everything they get.”
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
