Jack Daniels, the proud Tennessee spirit company, is the latest victim of the woke agenda to learn the hard way.
Go woke go broke.
Jack Daniels rolled out its drag queen-themed party plans and rainbow bottles to join the fun and immediately alienated half of America — and a huge majority of bourbon drinkers.
According to Sour Mash Purveyor’s Union President Joe Barron, JD broke the cardinal rule. “Your market is and will always be straight white men,” said Barron, “to think that any other demographic actually enjoys bourbon is ludicrous.”
Our research tells us that Barron is likely correct. Women prefer wine coolers and men do shots. “Anyone who went clubbing in 1994 knows that,” said Barron, “never mind what the new generations tell you. They don’t buy anything but lattes.”
Jack Daniels plans to restructure its advertising department and scrap the woke agenda once and for all. Barron says they have to, otherwise they’ll lose union membership. The SMPU is the only entity on the planet that can certify a whiskey “Tennessee Sour Mash Bourbon.” Without that, you might as well drink Jim Beam.
Jack Daniels going woke wasn’t something anyone saw coming. It’s a shame the company may not survive. God Bless America.
They will be sorry.
That’s why people make their own. 🙂