Lia Thomas Wants To Be Male Again: “I’ve Accomplished My Goals”

NCAA Champion Lia Thomas says she’s accomplished all she wanted to and would now like to transition back to a male.

“I think I did all I set out to do,” Thomas told ALLOD Sports Correspondent Skip Tetheludah, “I won first place in the 500 and I dated a man as a woman. I think I’ve reached the end of this journey.”

Dr. Joe Barron, who advocates for leftist causes, says it’s perfectly okay for Thomas to have those feelings and believes the world should look upon her with kindness as she becomes a he once again.

As for the logistics, Thomas will need to stop taking estrogen and may likely become a sock-stuffer. other than that, she’s still technically carrying both X and Y chromosomes.

Asked why the sudden change of heart, Thomas said she felt wrong taking those titles from those girls. “Especially the one who tied me for 5th in the 200,” she said, Apparently, that was going to be the pinnacle of her career and I stole it. The poor thing. I hope you get 5th again next year, hun!”

Authorities in Kentucky say they may look into filing fraud charges against Thomas for deceiving the NCAA and convincing the public that she was just “playing within the rules.”

“She won’t get away with this,” Mitch McConnell said from his chair, fist raised in anger, “biwawowgaw maws mawaawbabawawa bauh.” No, he didn’t have a stroke or anything, we just weren’t allowed to get close enough to decipher the mumbles. God Bless America.