It’s the question that Joe Biden avoided during the election 2020 campaign – “Will you attempt to bring the Supreme Court back from the radical right by adding justices?” Well, as you’ve probably seen from Newsmax and OAN losing their collective shit lately, the answer is “yes.”
Deceased host Rush Limbaugh was so upset, his reincarnation into sewer bacteria was briefly postponed.
The idea isn’t new. Socialist President Franklin Delano Roosevelt attempted to add justices in 1937 to help pass his legislation to ban firearms, legalize full term abortion, and have Bibles destroyed in a “Burning Man”-like festival. Roosevelt was well-known to have cheated his way into a third term in office.
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has decided to push ahead on the Roosavelt plan, intending to add up to four judges to the Supremes, contending that the move would please everyone in a bi-partisan manner, since it would create a “fair and balanced” atmosphere, beloved by the Fox News conservatives.
“It’s obvious that the court is useless with brain damaged date-rapist Kavanaugh in a stolen seat, followed by two other Trump appointments of unqualified maniacal cultists. If we simply expand the seats and add a few loyalists like Barack Obama, Sandy Batt, and perhaps Whoopi Goldberg, we’d be able to protect abortion and satanic horse copulation as nature intended.”
A lot of pushback for the seemingly insidious idea has come from red-faced fat white men on the radio and cable news, who make money by screaming talking points for three hours over and over.
“Packing the court is tantamount to restarting the holocaust,” stated conservative talker Mark Levin, who often moonlights at children’s birthday parties as the sound of air escaping from a balloon. “There, I said it. Pelosi is a flying winged dragon with Jews in her mouth, flying into a mountain of pork rinds. It has to stop!”
Levin then dropped his microphone and made love to MyPillow’s Mike Lindell violently, like the the Jodie Foster scene in “The Accused.”
The House is expected to meet to discuss the plan next week in an exclusive conference to be held in the headquarters of the Legion of Doom, located in a giant skull floating on Slaughter Swamp. The future of all Americans…is at stake.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
