Oliver Anthony Signs Staggering $100 Million Recording Deal: “It Was a Bidding War”

Oliver Anthony, the guy behind the hit song “Rich Men North of Richmond,” has set a record for a first-time recording deal.

According to sources at Fortitude Records, the company paid a whopping $100 Million for the rights to publish Anthony’s work on their label.

“It’s a huge deal because he resonates with so many different Americans,” said Fortitude CEO Joe Barron, “and let me tell you, it was a bidding war.”

Fortitude beat Capitol, Victrola, and EMI for ASnthony’s work.

“I’m just as flabbergasted as a long-tail cat in a room full of rockers,” said the centrist singer, “Last week I played the County Fair in Cousinhumper, North Carolina, and instead of playing for 40 people and being paid in soft pretzels, I sang for thousands and got a hot dog, too.”

Oliver has become a bit of a celebrity to the right, but claims he’s “dead center” politically. According to ALLOD Correspondent Tara Newhole, who recently visited Oliver at home, he’s not lying. “Out where he lives, there are regular Republicans and Q-nuts. He sits right in the middle of them.”

That probably explains why those verses about welfare, a thing that allows much of rural America to eat and helps pay their bills, is so popular in his small town. God Bless America.