Pelosi Running for Reelection As House Speaker

Former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi is nothing if not persistent.

After her time as third in line to the presidency for eight non-consecutive years, Pelosi retired, to much consternation from her own Democratic party, and to much chagrin by the Republicans, who kind of accidentally elected douchebag dickhead Kevin McCarthy to the position.

But now, as she spends most of her time with her husband and friend Sandra Batt attending San Francisco 49ers and Giants games, as well as growing super awesome phat strains of marijuana for her own dispensary, Miss Pelosi has decided to run once again and reclaim her spot as Speaker.

The reception to her decision has been remarkably partisan, with right wing television asswipe Sean Hannity actually peeing all over the halls of Fox studios in protest and former talking head Bill O’Reilly beating seventeen random women on the streets.

Pelosi isn’t deferred, however.  She made a brief statement to the media shortly after her announcement.

“Kevin McCarthy doesn’t know what he’s doing and doesn’t have the balls to even run Bingo night at the senior center.  I’ll come back and fix everything.”

At 83 years of age, though is Pelosi pushing the age border that is gaining traction, with advanced aged politicians like Donald Trump, Joe Biden and Donald Trump?  Possibly.

But it’ll be nice to have her back, won’t it?