It appears that Donald Trump can do absolutely no wrong with his followers. Just yesterday, after passing up another chance to debate his distinguished rivals on Fox News, Trump’s poll numbers have gone up again!
What does this mean?, thousands of political professionals are wondering. Does it mean that Trump is absolutely the one and only choice for most of America in 2024?
“Oh, hell no,” says expert ski-ball champion and political cake baker Joe Barron.
“What it means is that the polls are mostly done on the internet now, specifically Facebook. And take a wild guess where the Trump Cult’s ancient packs of feral old porktards is nowadays? You guessed it. Reposting memes about God, asking for donations to Focus on the Family for their birthdays, and not uploading profile pictures.”
Well then, when the election comes, will this large contingent of maniacal voters step out of their houses to actually vote, knowing that they’re massively stupid and don’t trust mail-in ballots?
“Probably some, but not nearly enough to put that fat orange blimp anywhere near Pennsylvania avenue again. I mean, if he’s not already getting freight-trained by Bubba in lock up.”
Trump is facing a massive onslaught of legal woes, stemming from a lifetime of criminal behavior. His cult doesn’t care. Republicans are fascinatingly dumb.
