Every American family has probably seen the Hall of Presidents exhibit at Disneyland or Disneyworld, or maybe even Euro-Disney. One after another, America’s great leaders take the stage, thanks to the magic of animatronics, and proffers a short lecture on his tenure.
From Washington, to Lincoln, to Truman, all the way to Biden. Until today.
The new “woke” culturally sensitive Disney corporation has decided that President Donald Trump’s division of the nation and two impeachments somehow disqualifies him from being featured in the Great Hall as of June, and it’s going over like hairy armpits at a Stryper concert.
Sandra Batt of Disney’s Customer Sensitivity Department told the press that this was a decision that only made sense in the grand scheme of Disney’s machinations.
“Trump has absolutely no place at Disney theme parks, and we’re removing his image from our exhibitions and merchandise. It’s just business for us. He wasn’t into caring for children or actual entertainment for the masses. Plus, his robot figure constantly started masturbating during the 3:30 show.”
Trump’s robotic doppelganger will be slightly re-tooled and will likely become a Nazi soldier to be featured in the park’s newest “Indiana Jones” ride next year. Imagineers are already working on enlarging the figure’s teeny tiny hands to hold a luger.
