Broncos Lose By 50 Points After Benching Their Kneeling Players

“Going woke and going broke” doesn’t exactly seem to be working out the way the Denver Broncos planned it to.

Last week, the Albino Rhinos took a stand and decided to bench all of the players who knealt during the national anthem as a show of support for African-American people across the earth who are unjustly targeted by the police and legal systems.  For the Orange Crushers, this amounted to some eleven professionals.

This amounted to wide receiver Marvin Mims Jr. sitting in the wings, next to running back Javonte Williams and linebacker Frank Clark.  Heavyweight forward and six time MVP winner Joe Barron was also relegated to twiddling his thumbs on the sidelines when the Miami Dolphins came to call.

The result was devastating.  A shockingly embarrassing loss of 70 to 20 for the team happened, and the coach of the Smiling Assassins was none too happy.

“We tried to play without all of our best guys, and it was a shit show,” sighs coach Mel Keetehts.  “It was all because of the kneeling.  I don’t even get why we benched them.  I mean, we had one guy just running the ball into the stands to the refreshment counter.  What the hell was that?”

Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagavaloa chucked a bit, and just shook his head.

“It was like that movie ‘The Bad News Bears’, only with football,” he told us.  “I mean, at least it was entertaining as a comedic piece.”

This article was inspired by Missy Southard, a big fan of the Broncos.  For some reason.